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Wassup Mikey?

Someone said I should check you out. Maybe you can help me. I’m not ready to settle down or be in any kind of relationship. I let girls know this upfront and they say they’re cool but then end up catching feelings for me.  This keeps happening.  I’m not a jerk who wants to hurt woman after a woman. I’m enjoying being single and for the foreseeable future I’m gonna stay that way. The latest victim is my boy’s lil sister. I known her since we were kids, didnt expect us to hook up, thought she saw me on some brotherly/homie shit. She saw me hanging with another girl and blew up at me and tried to fight me. I was restraining her and her brother jumped in. We ended up fighting. Needless to say my boy and I are no longer boys. I hate this shit. What can I do to NEVER have this repeat itself again?

-J

***J, all this drama is “Love & Hip – Hop” worthy. Give Mona Scott a call after reading this. First off, I commend you for letting these women know upfront you aren’t looking for anything serious. It shows you have some honesty and integrity– increasingly rare traits! However, the fact they keep catching feelings for you is no fault of their own. Whenever two people lie down together, one of them ALWAYS gets up with feelings! This is why casual sex shouldn’t so casual. Furthermore, if you aren’t looking for a relationship or anything serious then don’t do anything that could possibly make them think otherwise. This goes beyond hooking up, to include dates, bring them around family and friends, eating food at their houses, hanging with their kids (if they have any), or anything in the slightest bit romantic. If you wouldn’t do it with your so called homies don’t do it with them! I’m sure you’ll say you have your needs, however your needs are not to be met at the cost of others’ emotional well-being.

Then to make matters worse you decided to bring this drama into your friendship by hooking up with your friends sister! That is a huge no, no. Friends are the family we get to choose hooking up with their siblings is bad business it taints the friendship when things go south. Now you hurt another girl, and you lost your friend… I suggest you take some time to yourself to truly be alone. Especially since you’re now losing friends. Find company with your hand and cocoa butter lotion–it makes for one helluva good time!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post. Be sure to pick a code name. Thanks for checking me out. -Mikey♡

Advice Column

10/1/2017- “F*ck Black Love!”

Hey Mikey,

How are you? I love the new look of your site, I can tell you have put a lot of time and work into it! Listen, we have got to dish though as I just had a fallout with a few of my girlfriends at brunch about why I am no longer choosing to date Black men. I’m 37, currently engaged to a Caucasian man, and I have to say this is the best relationship I have ever been in. In fact, all of my interracial dates and relationships have been overall better. There’s this movement of “Black Love” now–courtesy of Oprah–that I just cannot get with.

Black women–my group of girlfriends–are notoriously single and unmarried. They need to expand their dating pool beyond the typical Black men, who for the most part, are inadequate, rude, disrespectful, and unwilling to commit. When I tell them this I become the self-hating, Uncle Tom, mammy friend and I don’t appreciate it. Am I out of line or do you feel where I’m coming from? I would appreciate your input.

-Your Girl is Wondering

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remy ma and papoose

Hey Mikey,

How are you? I love the new look of your site, I can tell you have put a lot of time and work into it! Listen, we have got to dish though as I just had a fallout with a few of my girlfriends at brunch about why I am no longer choosing to date Black men. I’m 37, currently engaged to a Caucasian man, and I have to say this is the best relationship I have ever been in. In fact, all of my interracial dates and relationships have been overall better. There’s this movement of “Black Love” now–courtesy of Oprah–that I just cannot get with.

Black women–my group of girlfriends–are notoriously single and unmarried. They need to expand their dating pool beyond the typical Black men, who for the most part, are inadequate, rude, disrespectful, and unwilling to commit. When I tell them this I become the self-hating, Uncle Tom, mammy friend and I don’t appreciate it. Am I out of line or do you feel where I’m coming from? I would appreciate your input.

-Your Girl is Wondering

interracial dating

***Your Girl is Wondering, I definitely get where you are coming from. If your friends widen their dating pool racially they will have more options because there are more men for them to interact with. Still that’s just one way they can widen their dating pool. Have they tried hanging out at different places, long distance relationships, or even a matchmaker? However I cannot and will not stand by the generalizations you have just made about Black men. Being a Black man myself I can assure I have dealt with stereotypes directed at me from other races and law enforcement. It hurts just as badly when it comes from our own Black Women. The Black men you have dealt with personally may have been sub-par, but they cannot speak for and are not representative of all Black men. Congratulations on your engagement, but perhaps you should let your friends make their own decisions–for good or ill–about their love lives and potential suitors. Good day, good day, and GOOD DAY!

Need advice? Drop me an e-mail at HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com, choose a pen name, and give me 24-48 hours to respond! Remember I will always keep it R-E-A-L!

 

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Advice Column

1/17/2014-” Prince Charming Ain’t Coming!”

How do I meet Prince Charming? I’m in my mid-thirties and I really do want kids, a husband, romance, the whole big messy thing!!! But

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Mikey,
I need to hear an unbiased, real answer to what I’m about to ask you. How do I meet Prince Charming? I’m in my mid-thirties and I really do want kids, a husband, romance, the whole big messy thing!!! But my love life is anything besides stellar–guys cheat on me, say they’re interested but won’t call, texts, or ask me out. I just don’t get it. The ones that are into me just don’t have an edge.I feel I’m a reasonably attractive woman and I work out six times a week. When is he coming? What can I do to keep him?
And am I too old to meet him

-Cinderella

***My dear, sweet, loving Cinderella–you would like me to tell you Prince Charming is coming–HE IS NOT. You would like me to feed you cupcakes coated in Disney-sponsored bullshit–I WILL NOT. You would even like for me to tell you there is man out there for you–I CAN’T BE SURE.  What I can do is dispel your belief in Prince Charming, he is no more real than Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy, or The Easter Bunny. I get you wanting to meet Mr. Right, but honestly if you end up with someone he will be “Mr. Right For You.” There’s no textbook, map, or chemical equation that leads anyone to who they’re meant to be with. You must simply do it old school with the “tried and true method” of dating; and figuring out who’s good for you, and who you’re good for. If you’re tired of dating there’s nothing wrong with taking some time to yourself. Live in the moment do not look or wait for some guy to sweep you off your feet. You’re never too old to love; and you can only keep him if he wants to be kept. Fairy tales are just that–tales–it’s time to accept things as they are and now as you would have them to be. Now that I’ve rudely awakened you go ahead and give that great guy who likes you a call. Something tells me he just might be Mr. Right For You. Keep me posted.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post. Be sure to pick a code name. Thanks for checking me out. -Mikey♡

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Advice Column

1/16/2014- “The Meddling Sister”

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Hello Mikey

Your blog is pretty popular in my office today! So…I’m gonna see what you think about this mishap with me and my big sister. So…my sister was engaged five years ago to this guy. He seemed cool but then broke off the wedding; literally a day before they were suppose to get married. She was devastated. Since then she won’t date or even talk to guys. She hangs with me and my husband (ALL the time), her girls, and works. There’s no love in her life, so I set her up on a few blind dates. She’s a pretty girl, so finding a interested guy was easy. I’ve invited her out to a few events over the last month and each time a different guy was there. She wouldn’t give any of them the time of day, and then had the nerve to tell me to stay the fuck out her love life. I’m tryna be a good sister, and my good intent was to hook her up. Am I wrong? It’s important to me she have love in her life. Our parents think so too!!!

-Sister’s Keeper

***SMDH…Sister’s Keeper, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. I want you to STOP! STOP this selfishness, STOP with the good intentions, and STOP meddling in your sister’s love life. Just because you’re tired of her hanging with you and your man, and feel as if she should get back to dating, doesn’t mean she’s ready for it! The heart is a fragile thing, if you break it too badly it may never recover. This is not to say she won’t ever bounce back and begin dating again; it’s to say she’s not on you or your parents “healing time schedule.” Especially when it comes to something this awful and sensitive .If you’d really like to be a good sister (after reading this), NEVER do this again, call her and apologize, and then tactfully suggest she seek professional help from a licensed relationship therapist. They actually get paid to help people do what you’ve so woefully screwed up.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post. Be sure to pick a code name. Thanks for checking me out. -Mikey♡

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